Smiling Proud Wanderer Vol 01 Read online

  “Little Apprentice Sister, you’re being impudent to your senior apprentice brother,” Monkey-Six said with mock sternness.

  “Aha, now you’re flaunting your seniority.” The girl grinned. “Hey, sixth apprentice brother, you still haven’t touched on the real topic. Why did Big Apprentice Brother start drinking all the way from morning to evening?”

  “Right,” Monkey-Six said. “Big Apprentice Brother didn’t pay any mind to how dirty the beggar was and pleaded for some wine from him. The beggar was so dirty that he must have had a crust of filth on him at least three inches thick; lice were crawling in and out of his filthy clothes; tears and mucus covered his face. Maybe there was some drool in the calabash as well….”

  “Stop it! That’s gross!” the girl covered her mouth and frowned.

  “You think it was gross, but not Big Apprentice Brother!” Monkey-Six exclaimed. “The beggar said that only a half calabash of wine was left out of the three. He was not going to give it away to anyone. Big Apprentice Brother took out a tael of silver and offered one tael of silver in exchange for one mouthful of wine.”

  The girl was annoyed and amused at the same time. “What a lush!” she spat.

  “The beggar finally agreed,” Monkey-Six went on. “He took the money and said, ‘One mouthful! No more!’ Big Apprentice Brother replied, ‘I said one mouthful, so of course only one mouthful!’ He lifted the calabash and started drinking. Who’d expect his mouthful to last so long that he was able to finish the entire half-calabash of wine in just one breath. It turned out that he used the Qi-Gong26 Master had taught him to drink the entire calabash of wine like a black dragon sipping water from the sea, without ever taking a breath.”

  When everyone heard this, they all burst into laughter.

  Monkey-Six continued, “Little Apprentice Sister, if you were in Hengyang and witnessed Big Apprentice Brother’s drinking Kung Fu, you’d have nothing but admiration for him!! ‘Spirit concentrates in the Diaphragm, breaths flow around the Forbidden Region, soul floats in the air and rises above the mountains, energy shoots up to the stars.’ His Qi-Gong technique almost reached the pinnacle of perfection and was extremely subtle.”

  The girl laughed so hard that she almost fell down. “You big magpie,” she scolded, “describing Big Apprentice Brother in such a mean way. Huh! And you’d better be careful, making fun of our Qi-Gong formulas and scripts!”

  “I am not making things up.” Monkey-Six laughed. “Every one of these six fellow apprentices saw it. Didn’t Big Apprentice Brother drink using Qi-Gong?”

  “Little Apprentice Sister, it was true!” Other apprentices by the side chimed in, nodding.

  “This Qi-Gong technique was so difficult that he was the only one who was allowed to learn it. And all he could use it for was to cheat wine from a beggar,” the girl sighed in despair. Yet beneath the condemnation, there was an undercurrent of praise.

  Monkey-Six continued with his story. “Big Apprentice Brother drank until the bottom of the calabash pointed to the sky; the beggar of course didn’t like it. He seized Big Apprentice Brother’s robe and kept yelling that he had agreed to only one mouthful, and how come Big Apprentice Brother had drunk all his wine? Big Apprentice Brother smiled and replied, ‘I truly only drank one mouthful. Did you see me take another breath? Without changing breaths, it only counts as one mouthful. We did not specify if it should be a big mouthful or a small mouthful. Actually, I only drank half a mouthful, not the full mouthful. One tael of silver was for one mouthful, half a mouthful should only be worth half a tael of silver. You owe me half a tael of silver!’”

  “He drank someone’s wine and still wanted to skip out on the bill?” the girl couldn’t help laughing.

  “The beggar almost cried,” Monkey-Six said. “Big Apprentice Brother then said, ‘Hey, brother, don’t be so upset, I bet you must be quite a wine connoisseur! Come on! Let’s drink our fill, my treat!’ Then he dragged the beggar into a wine house by the side of the street. Then a bowl for you, a bowl for me, and the two just drank on and on. We waited till noon, and the two were still drinking. Big Apprentice Brother then asked for the monkey and gave it to me to take care of. By afternoon, the beggar was already lying on the floor, drunk, and unable to get up. Big Apprentice Brother was still drinking by himself but not able to straighten his tongue. He told us to come to Hengshan first, and he would be right behind us.”

  “That’s why he was drinking,” The girl was satisfied. She paused for a while and then asked, “Was the beggar a member of the Beggars Clan?”

  “Nope. He didn’t know any Kung Fu and he wasn’t carrying any bags either,”27 the man dressed as a porter said, shaking his head.

  The girl gazed at the rain outside for a while. Seeing that there was no sign of it stopping, she murmured, “If you had come together with the others, then you wouldn’t have to make your trip in the rain today.”

  “Little Apprentice Sister, you said that you and second apprentice brother saw lots of strange things on your way here; aren’t you going to tell us about them?” Monkey-Six asked.

  “What’s the hurry?” the girl asked. “Let’s wait till we see Big Apprentice Brother and then I’ll tell the story, so I don’t need to tell it twice. Where did you agree to meet?”

  “We didn’t arrange anything,” Monkey-Six replied. “The town of Hengshan isn’t that big; we’ll bump into each other eventually. Come on, you tricked me into telling the story about Big Apprentice Brother drinking the monkey wine, and now you don’t want to tell us your story?”

  The girl’s attention seemed to have drifted away. “Second apprentice brother, will you please tell the story to the other apprentice brothers?” She glanced over at Lin Pingzhi’s back and said, “There are all kinds of people here. Let’s find an inn first and then tell the story at our leisure.”

  “All the inns in Hengshan town, big and small, are already full,” said a tall fellow, who didn’t say much before. “Since we don’t want to disturb the Liu House, when we meet Big Apprentice Brother later, let’s go to the temple outside town and rest there. Second apprentice brother, what do you think?”

  Since their senior apprentice brother had not yet arrived, it was natural that the old man was looked to as the leader among the apprentices. “Agreed. Until then, we’ll wait here for Big Apprentice Brother,” he nodded.

  Monkey-Six however, was eager to hear their story. “That hunchback is probably a retard. He has been sitting there for so long without moving a bit. Why should you worry about him? Second apprentice brother, when you went to Fuzhou with Little Apprentice Sister, what information were you able to gather? The Fortune Prestige Escort House was wiped out by the Qingcheng Sword School, so does the Lin family have any true skills?” he prompted them in a low voice.

  Hearing the name of the Escort House mentioned Lin Pingzhi listened even more intently.

  “Little Apprentice Sister and I met Master in Changsha,” the old man answered. “Master told us to come to the town of Hengshan to meet Big Apprentice Brother and the rest of you. Let’s not rush to the story about Fuzhou yet. Why did Great Mr. Mo use the move ‘One Thrust Nine Geese here?’ You all saw what happened, didn’t you?”

  “Yeah,” Monkey-Six immediately rushed to tell how people were talking about the Gold Basin Hand Washing ceremony of Liu Zhengfeng and how Great Mr. Mo showed up unexpectedly, and scared everybody off.

  The old man nodded. After a long pause, he said, “A lot of people in the Martial World are saying that Great Mr. Mo is not getting along with Master Liu. Now that Master Liu is about to have the Hand Washing ceremony, I really don’t understand why Great Mr. Mo is acting in such an odd manner and not showing himself in public.”

  “Second apprentice brother, I heard that the Head Master of the Taishan Sword School, Priest Tian-Men himself, came, and has already arrived at the Liu House,” the man with the abacus said.

  “Priest Tian-Men came in person?” the old man said in surprise. “Master Liu
is really going to look good now. Since Priest Tian-Men is staying at the Liu House, if a fight really breaks out between Liu and Mo, the two apprentice brothers of Hengshan Sword School, Great Mr. Mo won’t have such an easy job of it with such an elite fighter as backup for Master Liu.”

  “Second apprentice brother, whom will Master Yu from the Qingcheng Sword School help then?” the girl asked.

  Hearing the words “Master Yu from Qingcheng Sword School,” Lin Pingzhi felt as if somebody had just punched him in the stomach.

  Monkey-Six and the others all started talking at once.

  “Master Yu is here too?”

  “It is not easy to get him off Mount Qingcheng.”

  “There’s going to be a big crowd in Hengshan now. So many master level elite fighters! I am afraid that there might be some big fights.”

  “Little Apprentice Sister, who told you that Master Yu came too?”

  “Why do I have to be told? I saw him with my own eyes,” the girl stated.

  “You saw Master Yu? In Hengshan?” Monkey-Six asked.

  “Not only in Hengshan town, but also in Fujian province and Jiangxi province,” the girl said.

  “Why did Master Yu go to Fujian, Little Apprentice Sister? But I guess you probably wouldn’t know, would you?” the man with the abacus said.

  “Fifth apprentice brother,” the girl replied, “you don’t have to prod me. I was going to tell you, but since you want to provoke me, I won’t say a thing!”

  “This story is only about the Qingcheng Sword School. There’s no harm if others overhear it. Second apprentice brother, what was Master Yu doing in Fujian? How did you see him?” Monkey-Six couldn’t stay his curiosity.

  “Since Big Apprentice Brother hasn’t come yet,” the old man said, “and the rain won’t be stopping soon, there’s not much to do anyway. Let me tell you the story from the beginning. Once you understand the cause and effect, when you meet someone from the Qingcheng Sword School later, at least you will be ready. Last December, when Big Apprentice Brother beat up Hou Renying and Hong Renxiong….”

  “Ha-ha!” Monkey-Six suddenly burst out laughing.

  “What’s so funny?” the girl glared at him.

  Still laughing hard, Monkey-Six answered, “I am laughing at those two arrogant fellows, naming themselves Renying and Renxiong.28 They’re even known by the nickname ‘Ying Xiong Hao Jie, the Four Aces of Qingcheng’ in the Martial World. See, my name is just plain ‘Lu Dayou,’ and with such a plain name, trouble will never come looking for me.”

  “That’s not true!” the girl exclaimed. “If your last name wasn’t ‘Lu,’29 and you weren’t the sixth among the apprentices, why would you have a nickname like Monkey-Six?”

  “Sure, sure.” Lu Dayou smiled. “Starting from this day forth, I will change my name to….”

  “Don’t interrupt second apprentice brother from telling the story,” another apprentice cut him off.

  “Alright, alright, I won’t!” Lu Dayou said, but still could not help laughing.

  “What are you laughing at now? You’re just a nuisance!” the girl frowned.

  Lu Dayou grinned. “I was just remembering how Hou Renying and Hong Renxiong rolled across the floor after being kicked by Big Apprentice Brother, and still couldn’t figure out who had kicked them or why they were kicked. It turned out that Big Apprentice Brother just didn’t like their names. He was shouting ‘Dumb Bear Wild Pig, the Four Asses of Qingcheng’ loudly while drinking his wine. Hou and Hong of course got mad and came over to fight, but only got kicked down the stairs of the wine house for their trouble! Ha-ha-ha!”

  Lin Pingzhi felt quite happy when he heard of their humiliation. Instantly, he felt closer to this Big Apprentice Brother. Although he had never met Hou Renying or Hong Renxiong, these two were fellow apprentices of Fang Renzhi and Yu Renhao. When they got kicked down the stairs of the wine house, he could imagine how embarrassed they must have felt. Big Apprentice Brother had really helped him to vent his spleen.

  “When Big Apprentice Brother took Hou and Hong down a peg,” the old man continued, “they didn’t know who Big Apprentice Brother was at the time, but later they found out. So Master Yu wrote a letter to our Master. The words were very polite, saying that he did not discipline his apprentices well and they had offended your brilliant disciple, so he specifically wrote this letter to apologize, so on and so forth.”

  “This fellow Yu is really cunning,” Lu Dayou explained. “He wrote a letter of apology, but was actually complaining to Master. So because of the letter, Big Apprentice Brother had to kneel outside for a whole day and a whole night. Master finally let him off only after all the apprentices pleaded on his behalf.”

  “What do you mean ‘let him off’?” The girl retorted. “He was beaten thirty strokes anyway.”

  “Hey, I got ten strokes along with Big Apprentice Brother,” Lu Dayou said. “Ha-ha, but I saw Hou Renying and Hong Renxiong rolling down the stairs with such battered looks that the ten strokes was well worth it. Ha-ha, ha-ha!”

  “Look at yourself; you don’t have any remorse at all. The ten strokes were wasted!” the tall apprentice commented.

  “How should I mend my ways?” Lu Dayou argued. “When Big Apprentice Brother wanted to kick them down the stairs, how was I supposed to stop him?”

  “At least you could have tried to talk him out of it,” the tall apprentice said. “Master had you pegged, ‘Lu Dayou, well, he would never try to talk anybody out of mischief. Worse, he would add fuel to the flames. Ten strokes!’ Ha-ha, Ha-ha!” All the other apprentices laughed as well.

  “This time Master really wronged an innocent person.” Lu Dayou protested. “Think about it. How fast can Big Apprentice Brother kick? The two ‘heroes’ rushed in from either side. Big Apprentice Brother just lifted his bowl and kept drinking his wine in big gulps. I shouted, ‘Big Apprentice Brother, look out!’ And then I heard the loud sounds of two heavy impacts, followed by the thumping sounds of the two ‘big heroes’ as they rolled all the way down the stairs. I really would have liked to get a better view, so I could get some pointers on the use of Big Apprentice Brother’s ‘Panther Tail Kick,’ but I didn’t even have time to look, much less time to learn. How could I have added fuel to the flames?”

  “Monkey-Six,” the tall apprentice said, “let me ask you, when Big Apprentice Brother was shouting ‘Dumb Bear Wild Pig, The Four Asses of Qingcheng,’ did you happen to shout along with him? Speak honestly!”

  “Big Apprentice Brother had already started shouting, how could we, as junior apprentice brothers, not chime in to help? Are you telling me that I should have helped the Qingcheng Sword School to swear at Big Apprentice Brother?” Lu Dayou grinned.

  “See, Master didn’t judge you wrongly at all,” The tall apprentice concluded with a laugh.

  Lin Pingzhi thought, “This Monkey-Six seems to be a good guy. I wonder which school or clan they belong to?”

  “We must all truly remember the words Master used to rebuke Big Apprentice Brother,” the old man said. “Master said, ‘In the Martial World, people have all kinds of nicknames: ‘Prestige of the South’, ‘Wind-Chasing Hero’, ‘Grass Top Flying Man’ and what have you. None of them should be taken so literally. How could anyone verify the accuracy of so many names? If someone wants to be called ‘Ying Xiong Hao Jie,’ fine, let him be called that. If they are truly chivalrous, then we should be eager to admire them and try to make friends with them, how could we have any thoughts of hatred? But if they are not chivalrous, then their infamy would be known in the Martial World. Everyone would look down upon them, so why should we bother with them?’”

  Hearing second apprentice brother’s words, everyone nodded in agreement.

  “Still, my name ‘Monkey-Six’ is much better. No one will ever get mad at it,” Lu Dayou murmured.

  “Since Big Apprentice Brother kicked Hou and Hong down the stairs,” the old man continued with a smile, “this incident was seen as a huge humiliation an
d embarrassment for the Qingcheng Sword School, so of course none of their people ever talked about it; even among fellow apprentices, few know about it. Master had exhorted us not to let the information out, thus avoiding conflicts. So starting from now on, let’s not talk about this anymore, in case somebody overhears us and spreads the story about.”

  “To be frank, I really think Qingcheng Kung Fu has an undeserved reputation. Even if we did offend them, it wouldn’t really matter….” Lu Dayou was tempted to express his opinion.

  Before he could even finish, the old man yelled at him, “Sixth apprentice brother, if you keep talking nonsense, I will have to tell Master. Maybe you’ll get another ten strokes. Do you know that Big Apprentice Brother was able to kick those two down the stairs with a ‘Panther Tail Kick’ only because: firstly, he launched the attack unexpectedly; secondly, he is an outstanding apprentice in our school, and other apprentices are no match for him. Do you think you have the skills to kick those two down the stairs?”

  “Don’t compare me to Big Apprentice Brother,” Lu Dayou said, sticking his tongue out and waving his hands.

  “The Head Master of the Qingcheng Sword School, Master Yu, is really a martial genius,” the old man said with dead seriousness, “whoever underestimates him will surely be in trouble, sooner or later. Little Apprentice Sister, you have seen Master Yu before. What do you think of him?”

  “Master Yu? He was so terrible, he…he frightens me; I don’t…don’t want to see him again,” the girl exclaimed. Her voice trembled slightly, and seemed to contain traces of fear.

  “Master Yu was frightening? Did you see him kill somebody?” Lu Dayou asked.

  The girl shrank and did not answer the question.

  “On the day our Master received the letter from Master Yu, he was so angry that he inflicted those harsh punishments on Big Apprentice Brother and sixth apprentice brother. The next day he wrote a letter and told me to send it to Mount Qingcheng…,” the old man said.