Smiling Proud Wanderer Vol 01 Read online

  “Drop that ‘once a man sees a nun, he loses all his bets’ nonsense!” Dingyi said angrily. “How could you have believed that? There are so many people here that have seen us, do all of them have bad luck now?”

  People in the hall bit their lips to keep from commenting on her question.

  “Yes, Master,” Yilin answered. “I ran till dawn and saw the town gate of Hengyang in the horizon. I calmed down a little and thought that I could probably find Master in Hengyang. But who’d expected that right at that moment, Tian Boguang caught up with me. As soon as I saw him my legs went weak, and just after several steps, he caught me again. I thought that since he had chased me here, big brother Lao must have been murdered in the cave. I felt indescribable sadness.

  “With so many people on the streets, Tian Boguang didn’t dare be rude to me. He just said, ‘If you follow me without making any trouble, I won’t do anything bad to you. If you don’t listen to me, then I will tear off your clothes right away and let all these people on the streets laugh at you.’

  “I was very scared and dared not fight back, so I just followed him into the town. When we arrived at the Huiyan Wine House, he said, ‘Little Sister, you have the type of natural beauty that will attract…attract even the wild geese to land. This Huiyan Wine House must have been opened just for you.34 Let’s go in and have a drink and some fun.’

  “I said, ‘We Buddhists don’t eat flesh or drink alcohol. This is the rule of our White-Cloud Nunnery.’

  “He said, ‘I am sure you have lots of rules in your White-Cloud Nunnery. Are you really going to follow all of them? Later I will teach you how to break some more rules. Rules and regulations are all bogus. Your Master…your Master….’” At these words, she gave Dingyi a sneaky glance and dared not to continue.

  “You don’t need to mention the nonsense this villain spouted. Just say what happened next,” Dingyi instructed.

  Yilin answered, “Yes, Master. Then I said, ‘You are talking nonsense, my Master would never hide in secret places to drink wine and eat dog meat.’”

  The people in the hall simply could not help but laugh. Yilin did not repeat the words of Tian Boguang, yet from her own words, everyone knew what Tian Boguang must have said about Dingyi.

  Dingyi made a sour face and thought, “This child is too honest. She doesn’t know what to say and what not to.”

  Yilin continued, “The villain grabbed my collar and threatened, ‘If you don’t go up to the wine house and drink with me, I’ll tear your clothes off.’

  “I had no choice but to go up to the wine house with him. The villain ordered some wine and dishes. He was really mean. I told him that I couldn’t eat flesh, yet he intentionally ordered dishes of beef, pork, poultry, and fish. He threatened that if I didn’t eat, he would tear off my clothes. Master, I simply refused to eat those dishes. Buddhists are restricted from eating flesh. I couldn’t violate the prohibition. If the villain wanted to tear off my clothes because of that, then fine, but it wouldn’t be my fault.

  “Right at that moment, a man walked up to the wine house. He had a sword hanging by his waist; his face was pale and his clothes were bloodstained. He sat at our table in silence, picked up the bowl of wine in front of me and poured all of it down his throat in a single gulp. He poured himself another bowl of wine and raised the bowl toward Tian Boguang. ‘Please!’ he said. He turned to me and said, ‘Please!’ Then he drank that bowl as well.

  “As soon as I heard his voice, I felt very surprised and very happy. It turned out he was ‘big brother Lao’ who had saved me in the cave. Thank Buddha! He escaped from Tian Boguang’s murdering hands, but he had bloodstains all over him. In order to rescue me, he had been really badly wounded!

  “Tian Boguang looked at him from head to toe and back again. ‘It’s you!’

  “‘It’s me!’ he replied.

  “Tian Boguang raised his thumb to him and praised him, ‘Good man!’

  “He raised his thumb and replied, ‘Good knife skills!’

  “The two both began to laugh loudly and drink bowls of wine at the same time. I was quite surprised: They had fought so fiercely last night, why have they suddenly become friends now? I was very pleased to know that this man did not die, but since he was a friend of Tian Boguang, the villain, I became worried again.

  “‘You are not Lao Denuo!’ Tian Boguang protested. ‘Lao Denuo is a dried up old geezer. He can’t be as young and carefree as you.’

  “I sneaked a glance at him. He was only in his twenties, so last night when he said ‘This old man has lived such a long life,’ he was really fooling Tian Boguang.

  “‘I am not Lao Denuo,’ the man admitted with a smile.

  “Tian Boguang struck the table with his palm. ‘Yeah, you are Huashan Linghu Chong. You’re a somebody in the Martial World.’

  “Big Brother Linghu admitted again. ‘You really flatter me! Linghu Chong is only your defeated opponent. This is very embarrassing!’ he said.

  “‘No fight, no acquaintance!’ Tian Boguang grinned. ‘Why don’t we be friends? If brother Linghu likes this pretty little nun, I’ll just let you have her. I am not the kind who values chicks above friendship.’”

  Dingyi’s face turned dark, but she only murmured, “That evil rapist, that evil rapist…!”

  Yilin almost began to cry again. “Master, Big Brother Linghu suddenly started scolding me again. ‘This little nun has no color in her face,’ he said. ‘All she eats everyday are vegetables and bean curds; her face can’t look that good. Brother Tian, I get real riled when I see nuns. I really wish I could exterminate all the nuns in the world!’

  “‘Why?’ Tian Boguang asked while laughing.

  “‘To tell you the truth, I have a small hobby – gambling,’ Big Brother Linghu said. ‘Gambling is my life. Every time I see some dice, I’d forget my own name. But as soon as I see a nun, I can just forget about gambling for the rest of the day. No matter what I bet or gamble on, I will assuredly lose. This happens every single time. And it happens not only to me, but also to all my fellow apprentices of the Huashan Sword School. So every time when we, apprentices of the Huashan Sword School, see Uncle-Masters and apprentice sisters from the Heng-Shan Sword School, although everyone looks very respectful on the outside, we all curse our bad luck inside!’”

  Dingyi simply could not stand this anymore; she turned her hand and gave Lao Denuo a resounding slap on the face. The move was fast and accurate. Lao Denuo had no chance of dodging it. He just felt great dizziness, and almost fell to the ground.

  Chapter 4: Seat-Fighting

  Linghu Chong laughed loudly. “Little nun,” he said, “Do you want me to win or lose?” “Of course I want you to win,” Yilin said, “When you fight while sitting down, you are the second best in the world, you won’t lose to him.” “Good!” Linghu Chong said. “Then please go! The quicker the better, the further the merrier!”

  “Sister,” Liu Zhengfeng said, smiling politely, “there’s really no need to be so angry. Nephew apprentice Linghu only said that nonsense to Tian Boguang in order to rescue your brilliant little apprentice. Do you actually believe he meant what he said?”

  “You mean he said all that in order to rescue Yilin?” Dingyi was surprised.

  “That is my belief.” Liu Zhengfeng nodded. “Nephew apprentice Yilin, what do you think?”

  “Big Brother Linghu was a good person, only…only a little bit without manners when he spoke. But Master, if you are going to be angry, I dare not continue!” Yilin lowered her head.

  “Tell me everything! Tell everything without omitting any details. I want to know what on earth he was thinking, good or evil! If this fellow was really a rascal, then even though he’s dead, I will make old man Yue pay for it!” Dingyi yelled.

  Yilin murmured a few words, but was too afraid to continue.

  “Keep talking! Don’t be so concerned about him. Are you afraid that we won’t be able to distinguish between what’s good and what’s evil?” Dingyi
demanded.

  “Yes, Master!” Yilin said.

  “‘Brother Tian,’ Big Brother Linghu said, ‘we are people of the Martial World – we live our lives on the sword’s edge. Someone with better-developed skills does possess certain advantages, but eventually, we all have to count on our luck. Don’t you agree? When facing someone that has about the same level of fighting skills, life and death depends entirely on luck. This little nun is as scrawny as a chicken that weighs no more than three pounds. Even if she were as pretty as a goddess from heaven, I still wouldn’t have anything to do with her. Life is definitely much more important. Putting women before friendship is wrong! Putting women before life is just plain stupid. It’s to everyone’s best interest that no one touches this little nun at all.’

  “‘Brother Linghu,’ Tian Boguang sneered, ‘I thought you are a man that feared nothing. Why are you so superstitious about nuns?’

  “‘Hey,’ Big Brother Linghu exclaimed, ‘I have really bad luck every time I see a nun. It’s quite consistent. I simply can’t ignore that fact. For example, I was perfectly fit last night before I met this little nun. Then, without even seeing her face, just by hearing her voice, I ended up with three stab wounds from you, which almost cost me my life. If this isn’t bad luck, then what is?’

  “‘That’s right!’ Tian Boguang burst into loud laughter.

  “Big Brother Linghu then said, ‘Brother Tian, I don’t speak with nuns. Why don’t you just let the little nun get lost, so we can enjoy our drinks in peace? Trust me! I am giving you valuable advice. Even one touch of that little nun will bring you incredibly bad luck, and when you wander about the Martial World, trouble will follow you everywhere, unless you become a monk yourself. How can you risk the Three Venoms of the World?’

  “‘What are the Three Venoms of the World?’ Tian Boguang asked curiously.

  “Big Brother Linghu put on a very surprised face. ‘Brother Tian,’ he said, ‘you have been to many places in the Martial World and experienced many things. How can you not know of the ‘Three Venoms of the World?’ It is indeed well said: Nuns, arsenic and golden striped snakes, do not touch for heaven’s sake! Nun is the first venom, arsenic is another, and golden striped snake is the third. And if you notice, among these three, nun is ranked number one. These words are common knowledge to the male apprentices in our Five Mountains Sword Alliance.’”

  Dingyi’s anger erupted like a volcano. She struck the table with her palm so heavily that it almost collapsed. “What a damn load of…,” she swore loudly. At the last moment, she managed to control herself and did not spit out the dirty word.

  Lao Denuo, who had already learned his lesson, was keeping his distance from her. Seeing her angry red face, he instantly took another step back.

  Liu Zhengfeng sighed. “Nephew apprentice Linghu had good intentions, but he may have gone a bit too far making up so much nonsense. But let’s look at it another way: when one talks with a villain like Tian Boguang, if he doesn’t speak with conviction, it can’t be easy to trick him.”

  “Uncle-Master Liu, are you saying that Big Brother Linghu made everything up to fool Tian Boguang?” Yilin asked.

  “Of course!” answered Liu Zhengfeng. “How could we have such silly and rude sayings in our Five Mountains Sword Alliance? Tomorrow, it will be time for my hand-washing ceremony. I definitely want to have good luck. If anyone had any prejudice with regard to your respectful school, why would Sister Dingyi and all these nephew apprentices be so courteously invited to my house?”

  Hearing these words, Dingyi was slightly mollified. She acknowledged with a slight snort but complained, “What a foul mouth this Linghu Chong has! I wonder what scoundrel taught him his manners.” Obviously, the hidden meaning behind her comment was that she felt that Linghu Chong’s Master, the Head Master of Huashan Sword School, was also to blame for his student’s actions.

  “Sister, please don’t be angry,” Liu Zhengfeng said. “That Tian Boguang has some top-notch Kung Fu skills. Nephew apprentice Linghu could not hope to beat him in a fight, and seeing that nephew apprentice Yilin was in great danger, he had to make something up in the hope that the villain would let her go. Just think, Tian Boguang has been to many places in the Martial World and has experienced many things. It is not easy to fool him. Now, there are certainly some stupid people who are prejudiced against nuns; so nephew apprentice Linghu just used this as his hook. We live in this Martial World, and sometimes we have to do what is expedient. If nephew apprentice Linghu did not respect the Heng-Shan Sword School, if people of the Huashan Sword School, including Mr. Yue, did not sincerely respect the three senior Sisters, why would he try so hard to rescue an apprentice of the Heng-Shan Sword School?”

  “Thank you for the kind words.” Dingyi nodded. “So did Tian Boguang let you go because of that?” she turned back to Yilin.

  “No,” Yilin shook her head.

  “Big Brother Linghu then said, ‘Brother Tian, your Qing-Gong is the best in the world, but if you are cursed, you can never outrun your bad luck, no matter how good your Qing-Gong is.’

  “Tian Boguang seemed a little tentative. He glanced at me, and then shook his head. ‘I come alone and leave alone, going where I please. Why get so worked up? Since we have already seen this little nun, why not just let her stay here and accompany us?’

  “Right in that instant, a young man from the next table suddenly drew his sword and rushed in front of Tian Boguang. ‘Are you…are you Tian Boguang?’ he yelled.

  “‘I am. And?’ Tian Boguang answered.

  “‘You evil rapist,’ the young man exclaimed, ‘I’m going to kill you! Everyone in the Martial World wants you dead, yet here you are, bold as can be. You must be longing for death!’ He thrust his sword at Tian Boguang. The moves he used were from the Taishan Sword School sword art style. And that was him, the apprentice brother.” She pointed at the corpse on the door plank.

  “Chi Baicheng, what a good lad! Very good!” Priest Tian-Men nodded.

  Yilin went on with the story.

  “Tian Boguang made a slight movement of his body and a knife suddenly appeared in his hand. ‘Sit down. Sit down. Drink wine. Drink!’ he said with a smile. Then he put his knife back into its sheath.

  “No one knew exactly how it happened, but the apprentice brother of the Taishan Sword School had been slashed across the chest. Blood gushed from the knife wound. He stared at Tian Boguang, stumbled a little, and then fell down on the floor.”

  She turned and glanced at Priest Tian-Song. “That Uncle-Master of the Taishan Sword School immediately rushed forward to confront Tian Boguang, and started a vigorous attack. The moves that Uncle-Master used were very good, but Tian Boguang remained seated and simply blocked them with his knife. That Uncle-Master attacked with over thirty moves, and Tian Boguang blocked every one of them while sitting down; he did not even bother to stand up.”

  Priest Tian-Men’s face turned dark. He looked at the apprentice brother lying on the door plank.

  “Junior apprentice brother, was that villain’s Kung Fu really this good?” he asked.

  Priest Tian-Song gave a long sigh and turned his head away slowly.

  Yilin continued, “Then Big Brother Linghu drew his sword and thrust it at Tian Boguang as well. Tian Boguang blocked the thrust with his knife and stood up.”

  “That cannot be right!” Dingyi cut her off. “Priest Tian-Song attacked with over thirty moves, yet Tian Boguang did not stand up. Why did he stand up when Linghu Chong only attacked once? How could Linghu Chong’s Kung Fu be better than Priest Tian-Song’s?”

  “Tian Boguang had his reasons,” Yilin explained. “‘Brother Linghu,’ Tian Boguang said, ‘I look upon you as a friend. When you attack me, if I remain seated, it would be disrespectful. Although my Kung Fu skills are better than yours, I respect your personality, so no matter who wins the fight, I have to stand up to fight. But for that bull…bull-nose…well, it’s a different story.’

  “‘Hmm,’ Big
Brother Linghu said, ‘thank you for the courtesy. You are giving me too much praise.’ Then he attacked with three continuous thrusts. Master, the three thrusts were so swift and fierce, the flash of the sword covered Tian Boguang’s entire upper body….”

  “That is one of old man Yue’s valued moves called something like ‘Three Peaks of Mount Huashan’.” Dingyi nodded. “It is said that the second thrust is fiercer than the first one, and the third one is even fiercer than the second one. So how did Tian Boguang fend that off?”

  “Tian Boguang blocked one thrust and took a step back, blocked another thrust and took another step, so he stepped back a total of three paces. ‘Nice moves!’ he cheered, and then turned to Uncle-Master Tian-Song. ‘Hey, bull-nose! Why didn’t you join him and attack me together?’ Right after Big Brother Linghu began the first thrust, Uncle-Master Tian-Song stepped back and just stood by the side, watching.

  “‘I am a gentleman of honor from the Taishan Sword School. Why would I humiliate myself by fighting side by side with such an evil rapist?’ Uncle-Master replied coldly.

  “‘Don’t be mistaken about apprentice brother Linghu,’ I could not help saying, ‘he is a good person!’

  “‘He is a good person? Ha-ha, he is a wonderful person that commits evil deeds with Tian Boguang!’ Uncle-Master Tian-Song sneered.

  “Suddenly, Uncle-Master Tian-Song uttered a loud cry and then pressed his hands to his chest with a great look of disbelief on his face. Tian Boguang returned his knife to its sheath. ‘Sit down. Sit down! Drink wine! Drink!’ he said.

  “Seeing blood seeping through Uncle-Master Tian-Song’s fingers, I had no idea what kind of magic knife move Tian Boguang had just used. I didn’t even see him moving his arm or swinging his knife, and Uncle-Master Tian-Song had already been wounded in the chest. The thrust must have been executed with extreme speed. I was so scared, I started screaming, ‘Don’t…don’t kill him!’